I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
