i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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