Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
