This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I currently don't understand fingers.
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