I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
