you would pick up someone in the library
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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