i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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