You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
