Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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