i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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