im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
