i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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