Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
