the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
