I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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