Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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