I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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