Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
