Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
