do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
