i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
