The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
