Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
