The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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