She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have aggressive nipples.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
