So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
