Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
