Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
