yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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