dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
