Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
