Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
