kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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