Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
