she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
