If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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