i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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