so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
