You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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