booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
