I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
