it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
