She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
