I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
