She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
