And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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