Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have demons in me.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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