My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
PANTIES FOUND
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
