White coat. Heels.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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