So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
