I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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